"I Don't Want to Be a Burden." So She Started Lifting Weights.

Hi friends,

At the market, she watched her mum try to lift a 5kg bag of rice into the trolley.

Once. Twice.

She reached over to help.

Her mum waved her hand. "Don't need. I don't want to be a burden to you all."

She didn't argue. But she didn't forget it either.

For Mum's 70th birthday, she gave her something unusual. Not a hamper. Not a red packet. Ten strength-training sessions, and a promise to come along.

At the first session, Mum grumbled the whole time. "Aiyah, so old already, still lift weights."

Three months later, Mum carried the rice home herself.

Proud. A little smug, actually.

On the walk back, she said something new.

"If one day I really cannot, I don't want you all to quarrel over who looks after me."

(This family is illustrative, not a specific client. But I suspect many of us will recognise them.)

This year, Singapore officially became a super-aged society. As at June 2026, 21.4% of citizens were aged 65 and above, up from 13.7% in 2016. By 2035, more than 1 in 4 citizens are expected to be 65 and above (National Population and Talent Division).

Over the weekend, The Straits Times reported that more seniors here are taking up strength training, many of them introduced by adult children worried about their parents losing strength (The Straits Times, 17 Oct 2026).

I love that. It may be one of the most practical gifts a child can give.

When our parents say "I don't want to be a burden," we tend to hear a money worry.

Sometimes it is. But often it's something closer to home.

Getting out of bed and into a chair. Bathing and dressing on their own. Walking around the flat. Using the toilet without help.

These are what care assessors call the activities of daily living. Singapore's national long-term care scheme, CareShield Life, uses six of them (washing, dressing, feeding, toileting, walking or moving around, and transferring, such as from a bed to a chair) to assess severe disability. A person qualifies for its payouts when an MOH-accredited assessor finds they can't do at least 3 of the 6 (CareShield Life, CPF Board).

Read that list again. Most of it comes down to strength and balance.

So when a daughter books her mum a strength class, she isn't only buying exercise. She's helping to protect the things her mum is most afraid of losing.

A few practical notes from HealthHub, written for seniors and their caregivers (HealthHub):

• Most injuries affecting older people are the result of falls. Common personal risk factors include muscle weakness, especially in the legs, and poor balance.

• HealthHub suggests 150 to 300 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity a week, with a mix of strength, balance and flexibility exercises at least 3 days a week, such as Tai Chi or Pilates.

• At home: clear walkways, non-slip mats in the bathroom and kitchen, grab bars, and good lighting, especially on the way to the bathroom at night.

• If your parent takes four or more types of medication, a review with their doctor at least once a year is suggested, as some medicines can affect balance.

If your parents live in an HDB flat, the Enhancement for Active Seniors (EASE) programme subsidises home modifications such as grab bars and slip-resistant treatment for bathroom floors. It's for Singaporean households with a member aged 65 and above, or aged 60 to 64 who needs help with at least one daily activity (HDB; AIC).

And a sensible word from the physiotherapist interviewed by ST: if your parent has a chronic condition, check with their doctor before starting anything strenuous, and build up slowly.

(With the haze still around this week, indoor exercise makes more sense. Save the park walks for clearer days.)

I'll be honest. I'm not good at the "big talk" with my own parents either.

So I look for small doors.

This week, it might be an invitation instead of a question.

"Ma, want to try that exercise class at the community centre with me?"

"Pa, let's walk to breakfast this Saturday."

You'll learn a lot just by walking beside them. How their knees are. Whether the stairs bother them. What they're quietly worried about.

And if one day they say, "I don't want to be a burden," try not to rush in with "Don't talk like that."

Just ask, gently: "What would help you feel you're not?"

Then listen. That answer is often the beginning of a plan.

This is general information, not a checklist your family must finish.

1. Strength and a safer home

Everything above. It's the part of planning that happens in sports shoes.

2. Knowing what support is already there

Many families don't know what their parents already have. CPF LIFE gives monthly payouts for as long as a person lives. CPF members born in 1958 or after, with at least $60,000 in retirement savings when payouts start, are included automatically; for others, monthly payouts stop when their savings run out, unless they choose to join (CPF Board). Depending on the year they were born, parents may or may not be covered by CareShield Life too. It's worth knowing, calmly, before anyone needs it.

3. Their wishes for care

Advance Care Planning (ACP) is an ongoing conversation about a person's values, beliefs and healthcare preferences, shared with loved ones and the healthcare team. It isn't a legal document, and you don't need a lawyer to make one (MyLegacy@LifeSG). "Where would you want to be cared for?" is often a gentle place to start.

4. Who decides, if they can't

A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) lets a person aged 21 and above appoint someone they trust to make decisions for them if they lose mental capacity one day. It has to be made while they can still decide for themselves (MSF / Office of the Public Guardian).

5. One fair conversation among siblings

Remember what the mum said: "I don't want you all to quarrel over who looks after me." Who visits, who drives, who helps with what. Fair doesn't always mean equal. It just needs to be talked about, before it's urgent.

We often think of legacy as what our parents leave behind.

But part of legacy is how they get to live the last chapter. On their own two feet, for as long as possible. With a family that already knows what to do if, one day, they can't.

You don't need to sort it all out this week.

Maybe just book the walk.

If this got you thinking about your own family, WhatsApp me at +65 9048 2463.

To a strong and lasting legacy,

Edward Shee (施文山)
CFP, MDRT 2023/2025, IBFA, AEPP
Associate Director, Financial Advisory
RNF No: SBS200040073

Synergy Financial Advisers Ltd
M +65 9048 2463 | W [email protected]
A 51 Bras Basah Rd, #07-03, Lazada One, Singapore 189554

Edward Shee, Associate Director, Financial Advisory | RNF SBS200040073 | representing Synergy Financial Advisers Ltd
General Advice Disclaimer: https://synergy.com.sg/disclaimer-general-advice

Disclaimer

The information provided in this article is for general informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute financial, legal, or tax advice. The views and opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Synergy Financial Advisers Ltd.

Financial planning decisions should always be made based on your individual circumstances. You are encouraged to seek personalised advice from a qualified financial adviser before making any financial or estate planning decisions.

Edward Shee Boon Sun is a licensed representative of Synergy Financial Advisers Ltd.

This article is for general information only and does not take into account your specific objectives, financial situation or needs. It is not legal, tax, financial or medical advice. Population, CPF, CareShield Life, HealthHub, HDB and MyLegacy information is from official sources as checked on 19 Oct 2026; please check those websites for the latest details, and speak to a doctor before starting a new exercise routine. The image is illustrative; the story is illustrative and not about a specific client.